English  Ðóññêèé  Nederlands   
  home | site map | search | contacts |
  AFEW: About AFEW Projects Publications Press centre Donate now

AFEW: Projects >> 2nd Mass Media Campaign on Safer Sex (Mongolia) >> Campaign Leaflet

Campaign Leaflet

THE ADVISES FOR GIRLS

There are many subjects that are difficult to discuss and talk about freely but which are necessary to know and think about. They are most important, because they are about your health and specifically your sexual health.
Every girl dreams to be beautiful, but is it possible to look beautiful and attractive without being healthy?
You know that since it is difficult to discuss these subjects, there are many stories and embarrassments coming out in the beginning.
So we have decided to talk openly about our sex life and its health and give you the right information, facts and advises in this leaflet.

How can you know when you are under pressure?

Your boyfriend is getting more and more persistent.
He is making hints that:
· If you love him you just have to have sex with him.
· You have to prove your love.
· You are not a child anymore and now you have to behave as an adult.

May be you are hesitating and thinking like this:
· If I say no I could lose him
· Everybody is doing it and I am not different from other people.
· I love him, but I am not ready for sex. So I do not know what to do.
· How to say "no" to him without making him angry or hurting his feelings.
These situations are familiar to you, aren't they?

If you have ever faced these difficult to discuss, but important issues about health and especially sexual health, now in this leaflet we are going to talk about things that trouble you.

The choice is only yours.

We live in a free society. The meaning of freedom is that you have got the right to choose. Nobody has a right to force you to do things that you do not like. This is your own personal decision, and you should make your own choice. If you think you are not ready to start your sexual life, it means that you are not ready. This is your life and your choice; you have the right to say "NO".

Make sex only if you really want it

Unfortunately, there are a lot of sexually transmitted diseases (STD, including HIV of which we will talk later), which are widely spread in the world and in Mongolia number of infected people is high. The main danger of these diseases is that in some cases, especially for girls, there are no obvious symptoms and the person have no idea about this infection. Everyone who has made sex without a condom can be infected with STD or HIV or get unwanted pregnant. Unfortunately, the danger to get these infections can be reality for you or your partner. So, if you choose sex, first you have to ensure your own safety. Then you both can have pleasure not to worry about unwanted pregnancy or getting STD/ HIV. To protect yourself from STD/HIV infection and unwanted pregnancy you should learn to always use a condom. More and more people in the world are choosing safe sex, and by properly using condoms they prevent getting infected. Sex should be safe (what is safe sex see further).

Women having a condom with her
"Some girls think that if a girl has a condom with her, it is shameful, and men will misunderstand her"
But most men on the contrary think it is the right thing. If a woman takes care of her health and chooses safe sex, then having a condom with her is showing that she has got the right notion about safe sex.

Be careful! Remember, if you drink alcohol on a party, it can influence your behavior. Losing self-control can lead to sad and unwanted consequences.

How to start talking about it?
"Very often girls feel embarrassed to offer to use a condom"
If you decided to have sex with him, it is the right thing to use a condom. You even can buy the condom yourself. But how to offer your partner to use the condom without getting into a stupid situation?
It is true, for the first time it is always difficult to offer this. If you mention it too early, he may misunderstand you or even misbehave towards you.

But in any case by discussing safe sex with him earlier can possibly prevent you from getting into "forgot to protect yourself" and "difficult to bring it up" situations. If you still find it difficult, just take out the condom and show it. You can make a joke about it, like in a movie scene. Once you've made your attitude towards Safe Sex clear, you and your partner will feel a lot better. Do not forget to tell him that your wish to use a condom doesn't mean that you don't trust him. On the contrary, it shows that you want to protect each other. If your partner still refuses to use a condom, offer him to read this leaflet together with you.

What phrases are better to say?
· Before getting undressed calmly ask your partner: "How about using a condom today? Whose condom it will be, mine or yours?"
· " I am not ready without a condom"
· "I want to use a condom. It is better to protect ourselves than regret later".

You may regret your hesitation and embarrassment later. So be brave and make a safe decision now.



SEXUAL HEALTH IS IMPORTANT FOR GIRLS AND BOYS

What is safe sex? Picture of condom…. Safe sex …. A healthy and wise choice

Sex can be a source of joy and pleasure, it can also be a cause of many annoying, painful and even life-threatening diseases. Safe sex is the way of making sure you don't get infected. It means that somebody's blood, semen and vaginal fluid do not get into your body.

What is safe sex?
· postponed start of sexual life;
· sexual abstinence;
· kissing and deep kissing (French kissing);
· lying close together, cuddling;
· caressing or massaging each other;
· mutual masturbation;
· sexual intercourse with a condom
Safe Sex might take some time getting used to, but then the time will come when it is a part of real enjoyment for you.

Condoms and lubricants

A condom is a very strong, made from a special material called "latex", thin sheath that is put around the penis. A condom protects from sexually transmitted diseases and HIV virus, when used correctly. It may be awkward, as it is the first experience, when you first use a condom. You can be nervous and can make mistakes, so practice alone by yourself beforehand.
Lubricants are used for decreasing friction between a condom and vagina. They make using condoms more comfortable.
You can buy lubricants in drugstores, and most condoms are manufactured with lubricants.

Remember: Condoms give double protection -- from STDs including HIV/AIDS and from unwanted pregnancy.

Buying condoms is not a shameful thing!

You belong to the generation that will live in 21st century and you will live among people who choose healthy life and care about health. Condom is a thing that can protect you from many unpleasant diseases and even save your life if we are talking about HIV. If you regard yourself as a responsible person who cares about his/her health and the health of his/her partner, buying a condom should be as simple for you as buying chewing gum or ordinary medicine. Let's leave behind the times, when we, red from embarrassment, could not look the salesperson in the face and whispered something incomprehensible.

How to choose a reliable condom
· use only those condoms that are electronically tested for reliability and safety (it should be written on the package)
· always check expire date. There should be a manufacture and/or expire date on the package
· check the integrity of the package: put it between your fingers, you should feel a bubble of air. If the package is damaged - do not use it

How to use a condom
· avoid any contact between the penis and the vagina/anus before the condom has been put on
· open the package carefully. Be sure not to damage it with sharp nails or other things
· to prevent air getting into the condom squeeze the tip of the condom tightly and put on the completely erect penis
· be sure that the condom is unrolled in the right direction
· if you want to use a lubricant, make sure it is water based. Never use oil, Vaseline or other creams, as grease damages the latex.
· lubricant is applied on the condom after the condom is put on the erected penis
· after you ejaculate, withdraw the penis straight away. Hold the condom carefully while you are doing it. If you wait too long, the penis will lose erection, and the condom may slip off
· tie the open end of the condom and throw the condom in the bin
· use the condom only once
· two condoms on top of each other may seem even safer, but friction just causes them to tear

(Pictures with instructions how to use a condom)

What does everybody need to know about sexually transmitted diseases?
There are many diseases that can be transmitted through unprotected sexual contact.
Now people know around 20 sexually transmitted diseases including HIV/AIDS. To mention some of them:
- HIV/AIDS
· Syphilis
· Gonorrhea
· Trichomoniasis
· Chlamydia
· Genital herpes
· Genital warts
· Candidacies
· Hepatitis B- INFECTIOUS DISEASE OF THE LIVER

In the last few years number of people infected with STD in our country has increased rapidly. Fortunately, most of STDs can be easily and quickly treated - but only if they are detected at the early stages.
If not treated in time, STDs may damage organs, cause infertility (for men and women alike) or lead to even more serious problems. Moreover, persons infected with STD are more vulnerable to HIV/AIDS. It is easier for the virus to get into the body through sores, warts and other injuries caused by sexually transmitted diseases.

Symptoms of STD
Some STDs do not have clear symptoms: sometimes symptoms appear and disappear, but the infection is still there. Sometimes a person can get several STDs.
That's why if you had an unprotected sexual intercourse and suspect that you have contracted an infection, consult with a doctor without any delay, even if you have no clear symptoms. Do not practice self treatment following the advises of friends and hearsay about treatment methods. In a case you do self-treatment there is a strong chance that you won't be cured of this infection completely and develop a chronic infection. That's why it is so important to consult a doctor without any delay, as the disease will not go away by itself.

Following symptoms can appear:
· discharge or pus from penis, vagina or anus
· burning feeling when urinating or having sex
· frequent and painful urinating
· sores, warts or blisters on the penis, vagina, anus or mouth
· irritation in or around genital area
· itching in the genital area
· pain in the genital area or low abdomen
· skin rash or swelled testicles

You CAN NOT get infected with STDs through:
· shaking hands or hugging
· sweat or tears
· sneezing or coughing
· using other people's tableware or bed linen
· using a toilet, bath and a shower used by an infected person
· traveling by public transport
· animals or insect bites
· saliva, for example while kissing

It has been reported that it is possible to get STD infection (namely syphilis, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, etc.) via household ways. But it is also proven that the chances are extremely rare especially if you engage in basic hygiene. Let's not be shy and look at it directly - unprotected sexual contacts are basically the only real risk you can get infected with these diseases.

Everyone needs to know it
A disease that damages the immune system AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) is a disease that is caused by virus Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) that destroys the immune system.

The immune system is a vital part of our body responsible for fighting off infections. When you've been infected, your body reacts by producing antibodies particular for each disease. There are certain antibodies for fighting HIV, but they are not capable of destroying this virus. And the virus starts to destroy the immune system itself. People infected with HIV lose the ability to combat any kind of disease.

When a person is infected with the HIV virus he/she is not necessarily ill. This means that this person does carry the virus and can pass the infection (see the transmission ways below), but still feeling healthy and looking healthy. It may be years before a person who carries the HIV virus, actually shows the symptoms of AIDS.

Until today, there is no cure for HIV/AIDS.

The only way to say whether the person is HIV positive is an HIV blood test (you can receive detailed information at the telephone numbers from the list further in the leaflet).

How do you get infected?
The virus can be transmitted by three main routes:
· unprotected sexual contact;
· infusion of infected blood into the body;
For example: - sharing infected needles and syringes
- tattoos with unclean equipment
- transfusion with HIV infected blood or blood products
· from pregnant mother to unborn child, and after the birth via MOTHER MILK

You will not get infected through:
· shaking hands or hugging
· sweat or tears
· sneezing or coughing
· using other people's tableware or bed linen
· using a toilet, a bath or a shower used by an infected person
· traveling by public transport
· animals or insect bites
· saliva, for example while kissing


If you want to know more
You can contact following organizations and centers and get answers to your questions on AIDS and STD:

1. STD/AIDS Information Center: Building of Infectious Diseases Research Center. "Hot line" phone: 450867 (9.00-20.00 working days)
2. Adolescence - Future center:
1) "Confidential" clinic: Sukhbaatar district Hygiene, Infectious diseases Research and Control Department, Building of Drugs, Bio-products and Treatment Quality Control Department
2) "Hot line" phone: 312151
3. Mary Stopes Reproductive Health Clinics:
1) Ulaanbaatar, Peace Avenue - 13, Building of Blood Transfusion Research
Center, Tel: 3111427, 313283
2) Ulaanbaatar, Bayangol district, Building No. 61, Tel: 368545
3) Darkhan-Uul province, Darkhan city, New district, 12 bag, Building No. 15, Tel: 27963
4. "Mongolian Family Welfare Association", Clinic for adolescence: Maternal Hospital No. 2,
Ambulatory (old) Building. Tel: 326180
5. Bayanzurkh district, AIDS/STD department in Infectious Diseases Clinic Hospital of MoHSW, Tel: 451372
6. Reproductive Health Cabinets in Health Centers of resident districts

Text of the leaflet was written by Medecins sans Frontieres - Holland in the close cooperation with HMIEC of the MoHSW of Mongolia. In the text there have been used the elements of the leaflet produced by Foundation for STI control (Holland) and leaflet produced by PSI International with taking into consideration the Mongolian specificity.

MSF and HMIEC would like to thank Pr. Dolgor, Dr.Demberelsuren, STI/HIV/AIDS Reference Center of Mongolia, for their advice, dedication and support.

Text to the leaflet was approved by STI/HIV/AIDS Reference Center of MoHSW of Mongolia.

Advises for boys

The subjects we are talking about in this leaflet are difficult to discuss, but everyone including you should know and think about them. These are the issues directly connected with your health, especially your sexual health.

As you know, because it is difficult to talk about it, there are many fictions and embarrassments about sex and sex life.
In this leaflet we are going to talk about it and talk with facts and correct information.

The desire to be the same with others
"I am 17 and I am the only boy in my class who had not tried it yet! Sometimes I think that I am the only one in the whole world."
Have you ever felt like this?
It seems that everybody knows (and laughs behind your back) that you have not tried sex yet.
Or vice-versa - everybody knows (and understandingly nods) that you are doing it already.
Sometimes, sex experience is an exam, which you have to pass for everybody around.
If you ever have faced difficulties talking about sex health, let's talk about it now.

Sometimes boys start making sex only to keep prestige, to prove themselves, to not "stand out"
So sex becomes an obligation. In this case you think of sex as a thing for others, not for yourself. But imagine the feelings of the girl who is not ready to make sex, but the boy starts to push her towards it, only because of the desire of self-establishment…
But may be it is worth making sex not for other people but for your own pleasure?
May be starting sex life is your private thing?
May be it is really good when you both want it?

Do not make yourself and your partner take risks
If you and your girlfriend really want to have sex, then make sure to decide about preventing your girl from unwanted pregnancy and you both from sexually transmitted diseases (STD including HIV of which we talk later). Remember your responsibility to protect each other's health. Then you can have pleasure without worrying about STD/HIV and unplanned pregnancy.

Unfortunately, sexually transmitted diseases (STD) are widely spread, and there are many infected people in our country. The main danger of these diseases is that they sometimes develop without obvious symptoms, and you can be infected but not know it.
So if you choose sex, first you have to ensure your own safety.
To protect yourself from STD/HIV infection and unwanted pregnancy you should learn to always use a condom. More and more people in the world are choosing safe sex, and by properly using condoms they prevent getting infected. This is not a question of trust or mistrust. This is your health, and you cannot afford to take any risks. Sex should be safe (what is safe sex see further).

Be responsible for your actions
It may be difficult to talk about safe sex. There are no flawless decisions or simple recommendations. You have to act as you think is right. Because it is about YOU and YOUR PARTNER

You choose safe sex? Then it is up to you if it is safe or not. Just be prepared. This is what a responsible person does.
For example, if you are going to a bar or a party and think that you will probably have sex afterwards, be sure that you have condoms with you. It is not difficult.
It may be more difficult to say to the girl that you want to use a condom. But think about it - may be the girl wants the same. Is it still too embarrassing to say so than just show the condom. Usually, girls are glad when boys solve this problem.

Careful!
Alcohol, even small quantities of it, can lead to loss of self-control and will change your behavior without your knowing it. Be careful: do not get into situations you could regret later.

Condoms - the right thing to talk about
Talk about condoms, get rid of your prejudices!

"I feel embarrassed to buy condoms"
Do you really think that a seller cares about your problems? For him/her condoms are just things to sell. May be the first time is going to be a bit difficult for you. Believe us, afterwards it will be an ordinary thing.

"It is inconvenient to put them on"
Everything, that is new, is difficult. In this leaflet there are instructions how to use condoms - read them. First time try to put a condom on when you are alone and practice a bit.

"Condoms reduce feelings"
If you and your partner agreed beforehand to use a condom, this process can become a part of love game.
And it is also important to mention that using a condom can postpone ejaculation and prolong the sexual intercourse. That's an extra reason for many men to use condoms.

"I know her very well. She is a good girl. Why we need condoms?"
Anyone who had unprotected sexual contact even once can be infected with STD. And you may not feel the signs for a long time. The only way to protect you and your girlfriend - use a condom.

"If I do not have a condom with me, I will not have a sexual intercourse. It is simple. I do not want my girlfriend getting pregnant"
True, a man should control his actions and be responsible for them. When you offer to use a condom, you show your care about your own health and the health of your partner.



Resource Center

AFEW Glossaries New!

Resources in Russian

Regional and Country Information  

Eastern Europe and Central Asia  

Armenia  

Azerbaijan  

Belarus  

Estonia  

Georgia  

Kazakhstan  

Kyrgyzstan  

Latvia  

Lithuania  

Mongolia  

Moldova  

Russian Federation  

Tajikistan  

Turkmenistan  

Ukraine  

Uzbekistan  

Language Resources

Links


Adriaan Backer



Photo exhibition





AIDS Foundation East-West. All rights reserved.